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“Sometimes when I’m high, I feel high in reverse”
 ~ Juice WRLD

In general, the withdrawal effects from a substance are the opposite of the effects that the substance creates. For example: caffeine stimulates the brain… so withdrawal creates headaches. This is also true with side-effects. A side-effect of opiates is constipation… withdrawal involves pooping (a lot).

Consider what it feels like when you are high. If being high makes you feel more relaxed, then right now you might feel a bit more jumpy or irritable. If being high felt calming, you might now be feeling more anxious. And, if as a side-effect, being high helped you feel more connected to people, you might now be feeling more lonely. This week, we are going to look at these.

One other thing: there seems to be something cumulative about THC.  We know that it builds up in our system. There seems to be a point at which cannabis stops working for some people…or even, a point when they report getting high in reverse. (Feeling anxious when high, even when that never happened before.)

This may come after a long period of heavy use. It may feel as if something has changed. The feeling of being high goes from special -> to routine -> to maintenance. Cannabis begins to have less and less impact, then none. And then maybe an opposite impact.

If that is not your experience, then I am glad. But with the increases in THC potency, this is just something to keep in mind. It invites partaking in moderation. And it certainly suggests that a tolerance break (like you are doing now) is a good thing.

“But I’m aggravated without it
My saddest days are without it
My Saturdays are the loudest                          
I’m blowing strong”
~ J Cole

Since starting this t-break, you might be experiencing disruptions to your sleep, your appetite, or to your mood. Just one of these things would make someone irritable. But perhaps you have experienced a few or all of them. You may be feeling more irritable.

It is not comfortable… but you’re OK. If irritability is not gone already it will likely be gone soon. Go easy on yourself. (If you’ve been a jerk to friends, you can apologize.) You’re good. You’ve got this.

Of course, not everyone experiences the same things. If some of the themes in this guide do not apply to you, feel free to take anything that works and leave what does not.

If you are feeling irritable or overwhelmed right now, hold on. To keep with the J Cole song from above, he says, “meditate, don’t medicate”. There are lots of types of meditation: the right one will work. The wrong type may actually unsettle you. Experiment with guided vs free; movement vs still. Check out the .

Also, consider trying to locate emotions inside you. We hold feelings in our body. Where do you keep anxiety? (stomach, head, neck, somewhere else?) Where do you keep tension and irritation? (jaw, shoulders?) Knowing the physical location of our feelings helps us recognize and exist with them.

“My attraction to drugs is based on an immense desire to annihilate awareness.”
~ Anaïs Nin

Anxiety is the worst. For some people, cannabis seems to help. Research is starting to tell us more about how. Unfortunately, research also seems to show that when people consistently use cannabis before their brain is done developing (≈age 27), it seems to worsen anxiety and depression in the long run.  

When anyone starts using cannabis regularly, they become more sensitive to feeling anxiety when they are not high. The same amount of anxiety that they once tolerated now feels overwhelming. They are then more likely to get high again to deal with it. This is totally understandable. It just tends to make things worse in the long run.

It can be hard to sort out the extent to which cannabis helps with anxiety, and the extent to which cannabis worsens it. This is further complicated by withdrawal. For example, say someone sets out to take a tolerance break. Say they get really anxious around day three, start smoking again and feel better. They might view this as proof that cannabis helps with anxiety: “when I stopped, I felt really anxious; but when I started again, I felt better: cannabis cures my anxiety.” But anxiety itself is a withdrawal symptom from cannabis. What they demonstrated was dependency.  

It is worth considering all this for yourself. It may be that cannabis is totally helping; it’s possible that it is hurting. Most likely, however, it is a bit of both. Figuring out this mix in your life will help you find and maintain balance.

“There are no boring things, just boring people”
– Grandma

Damn, grandma was harsh- and wrong: there are definitely a lot of boring things out there. And cannabis can help make boring more fun.   It is worth understanding how.

Being high makes boring seem more interesting by lowering your sense of what is interesting. This is similar with food. Food often tastes better when people are high, but we act as if getting high changes the molecular structure of food. We act as if we’re the same, and the food has altered; and as if we are the same and the boring thing is now more fun. But things have not changed: you’re just high.

On any single occasion, this distinction does not really matter: if it tastes better, that’s great; if it is less boring, that’s fun. But boredom, as a mental state, is essential. It can spur creativity, imagination, and problem solving.

As getting high becomes the solution to boredom, we become less skilled at dealing with boredom, and learning from it. Getting high too often makes it harder to tolerate the regular routines of life.

If you return to getting high after this break, you might occasionally devour a meal high or find a not so funny movie hysterical. Enjoy it, but try and steer away from using cannabis as a cure for boredom.

“It’s the loneliness that’s a killer.”
~ Henry Samuel aka Seal

Irritability, anxiety and boredom all have a complicated interplay with cannabis: it can help reduces these in the short term, but makes them worse in the long term.

Loneliness is not connected in the same way. Cannabis does not directly cause or cure it. But I wanted to address loneliness here because it is so real for so many of us. Indirectly, cannabis may have helped keep it away. But at this point in your T-Break, as the noise of irritability starts to diminish, perhaps you are now hearing the hum of loneliness.

Loneliness is a hard feeling to describe. It is connected to depression, but not the same thing. Anxiety may be a fear of exposure: that we might be seen and judged. Loneliness may be a fear that we might never be seen and valued for who we are.

Cannabis may help some people bond. Mostly we feel good about this. But occasionally, we start to question if anyone really knows us, or if anyone cares. Some of that may be paranoia from cannabis- you may just have been too high. But some of that is doubting the authenticity of our connections. (We will talk about ‘connection’ in Week 3.)

You are not alone. Not everything is fake. But like anyone, you could probably stand to strengthen and deepen your connections a bit more. Now, during this T-Break, is a great time. Your authenticity (in your beauty and flaws) is what makes you real to others. That is the heart of connection and the antidote to loneliness. Try and let yourself be seen. 

“Write drunk, edit sober”
~ Hemingway (though, probably not)

The quote above is attributed to Ernest Hemingway. He probably never said it, but it’s a great line. Interestingly, it did not apply to him. Although Hemingway was known to enjoy a drink, his friends, family and scholars all say that he did not write drunk. But this notion persists, for Hemingway and beyond, because there is a myth about drugs and creativity.

Being high has long been associated with being more creative. Perhaps it is true for some people. Whether by placebo (simply believing it may make it true) or by chemical alteration (the brain does operate differently when high), some artists may make better art when altered.

Others do not. Sometimes artists listen to a recording of the music they played while high- and what felt like connection and improv while high, turns out to suck when heard sober.

There is no doubt that substances alter reality and this connects to creativity. But the myth that someone can get hammered, pass out, and wake up with a hit (from Keith Richards to Chance the Rapper) dismisses the talent and hard work that art necessitates.

I’m not going to speculate on the true source of creativity. Nor will I dismiss the connection of altered states to it. But art takes talent, and talent is enhanced by skills. So, if you are into creating… get to work on your skills. This T-Break is a good time to do it. (Like we established in Day 1: stay busy)

Challenge: Be creative right now. Doodle, color, write lyrics, anything…

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing.  It makes that is excellent in others belong to us as well”
~ Voltaire

Week 2 complete!

After finishing Week 1, the theme was “Treat yo’self” because, damn…  you deserved it. And you still do. But also, let’s expand that to others.

Gratitude- or appreciation- is essential to our happiness. Happiness researchers (yeah, that’s a legitimate field of study) debate the value of smiling or random acts of kindness. But they all agree: gratitude is essential for our wellbeing.

Gratitude is at first a mindset. With an ‘attitude of gratitude’ we think of what and who we are grateful for. We then must turn those thoughts into emotion and behavior. Expressing our gratitude (in a text, call, in-person) grows it beyond ourselves. That’s when gratitude moves from being a thought that we hold alone, to a reality that we share with others.

Reflect. If it's in your style take some time to draw or write about your experience this past week.